That’s exactly how it turned out. My lip is perfectly healed. It’s kind of fun to run my tongue over it and feel the smooth, unblemished surface where once all kinds of minor distress was located.

Healing a sacred opportunity

Perhaps it’s not the greatest analogy in the world. But I believe something like this — a healing into wholeness and grace — is the sacred opportunity that confronts us all in these days.

Yes, there’s a lot of fear and distress and pain in the world, and in our own life, perhaps. And no one can possibly be happy about that. But if what is left standing, so to speak, at the end of the day is our own divine character — the truth of who we are, already whole, already free — why, that’s a great thing, isn’t it?

If you and I find ourselves emerging into an experience of genuine happiness and freedom and peace that nothing can shake — a connection with our own victorious nature that nothing can shake — that’s a miracle, isn’t it?

A conversation with Deepak Chopra

Here’s an excerpt from Andrew Harvey’s new book, The Hope: a Guide to Sacred Activism, http://www.andrewharvey.net that speaks of this process in a much more elegant way than my little story about the sore on my lip. Harvey is recounting a conversation that he had recently with Deepak Chopra, http://www.chopra.com.

“Deepak spoke to me at length of how the process of transformation in and through the ‘dark night’ that we are now enduring could be compared to the different stages of a caterpillar’s transformation into a butterfly.

“He described how the caterpillar spins a cocoon around itself and dissolves inside the cocoon into a featureless gray grunge. This gray grunge Deepak compared to the chaos and confusion of the Dark Night, a chaos and confusion that is also pregnant with new possibilities. Pregnant in fact, as he said, with the birth of the butterfly, “the new divine human” which is a being as genetically and physically different from the caterpillar “as a bicycle is from a Lear jet.”

A hard day in Denver

I hope you had a good day yesterday. A really good day. I have to say that as far as JoAnn and I were concerned, it was a hard day. I don’t know why it was so hard — but it was. I won’t bore you with all the details. But we were in Denver, trying to find a home and a neighborhood that we liked. By the time we finally drove home, we were both utterly drained. It did not turn out to be a happy and victorious day that we had hoped it might be.

But that was yesterday. Today is today. And as I sit in my little office this morning finishing up this post — because today is Thursday, and Thursday is when I publish a new post — I do not feel drained.

Lifted up by stillness

I feel the stillness of my own being lifting me up and giving me strength.

I realize that my own victorious nature is quite untouched by the disappointments that I experienced yesterday.

Isn’t this something quite marvelous? The truth of you and the truth of me doesn’t change. Our circumstances change. Boy, do they ever change.

But in the midst of life’s challenges and disappointments, big or small, there is one thing upon which you and I can depend with absolute confidence — the timeless, changeless truth at the core of all being.

The law of change

It takes a lot of change, of course — never ending change –to let go of old habits and allow our own true character to be expressed ever more fully through us.

I know that I have changed since I left the spiritual community in British Columbia that had been my home for more than 35 years — and found myself eventually in this wild, wonderful country called America, with its unique energy and opportunity.

A new friend, Stephen Aitcheson, who writes about transformation and personal development at http://www.stevenaitchison.co.uk, has a simple but great message: “Change your thoughts.”

Such a key message for this time.

But equally powerful, as far as I’m concerned, is Steven’s generous attitude and spirit to everyone he comes in contact with. I want to express my deep thanks for the time he took to examine my blog and write me a very helpful and specific letter filled with great recommendations about how it could be improved and made more useful.

God’s promise to you

I know one thing. I promise that if you will stay true to your own victorious nature in these difficult and troubling days you will experience the magical transformation and happiness of which Deepak Chopra and other modern prophets speak so eloquently.

Lastly, my deep thanks to those who’ve written to express their interest in the notion of a “network of grace” envisioned in my post last week.

There is a “network of grace” — more than one, surely — just waiting for each of us. It is our divine birthright — and as we play our part it will unfold naturally like a flower unfurling its petals in the spring.

I would love to hear from you if you have any further thoughts or comments.

Picture credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/wazari/2796637510/

Healing into wholeness, grace — and new friendships is a post from: thehappyseeker.com

Listened to a great presentation the other evening by Andrew Harvey, author of Way of Passion: a Celebration of Rumi, who has launched a new network called ‘networks of grace,’ www.networksofgrace.org.

It’s patterned after Al Qaeda, believe it or not — because as Harvey said, while the aims of that terrorist organization are abominable, it is very effective. One reason for its effectiveness — it operates on the basis of small cells of six to 15 people.

So Harvey has set up his new networks on the same basis.

In his new book, The Hope: A Guide to Sacred Activism, Harvey quotes Bill McGibben in The New York Review of Books: “The technology we need most badly is the technology of community, the knowledge about how to cooperate to get things done. Our sense of community is in disrepair.”

Harvey calls for sacred activists to “learn to work together and to form empowering and encouraging ‘networks of grace’ — beings of like heart brought together by passion, skill and serendipity to pool energies, triumphs, griefs, hopes and resources of all kinds.

“When people of like mind and heart gather together, sometimes miraculously powerful synergy can result.”

I’ve been thinking about this. I certainly long for a new experience of community. I believe many people do.

I appreciate what traditional organizations and institutions offer — senior centers, chambers of commerce, churches, and so on. But I believe the Truth in each one of us longs for something leaner, more nimble and more intimate — more capable, perhaps, of accommodating the ever-changing pulsation of spirit.

I wonder. I wonder if right now, in this very moment, as I’m working on this new post, I can take a baby step and simply say how interested I would be in the possibility of creating a “network of grace” with others of “like heart.”

Let me know, won’t you, if this notion causes even a stir of interest? Would love to talk with you about it a bit more.

Picture credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/stop_imagine

How about joining a “network of grace”? is a post from: thehappyseeker.com

A man with a Winchester bolt action rifle was standing many yards away from the parking lot outside the school entrance. He had shot one student and was busy reloading his gun so he could take aim at another.

What was Benke going to do?

Benke, 6’ 5”, immediately raced across the street from the parking lot, sprinted up the path toward the gunman, and tackled him with help from another teacher, Norm Hanne. In all, two students were wounded before the shooter was pinned down and assistant principal Becky Brown grabbed his rifle… but how much worse it might have been.

Dependability mark of true character

Following the shooting, Benke said courage came without question because of the training that has become standard for teachers and administrators since the 1999 shootings at Columbine High School — and because he remembered that he had vowed to do whatever he could if he were ever confronted with a dangerous situation.

“What was going through my mind,” Benke said, “was that I promised.”

Dependability.

It is one of the key ingredients of true character, divine character.

Dependability critical to our happiness and inner peace

Dependability is not only critical if we are to handle these troubled times effectively — it is also critical to our own inner happiness and well-being.

Not all of us will find ourselves in a life-and-death situation requiring immediate, spontaneous action on our part.

But as far as life is concerned — as far as God is concerned — we are on the spot in every moment to be dependable. It doesn’t matter whether the moment seems important or not.

Life always asks the same question. “Are you going to be dependable? Are you going to be true to the true nature of your own being?”

It’s part of our contract with the universe, you might say.

The fruits of dependability

Want to have a good feeling at the end of your life? Want to feel that your life was worthwhile, that you made a difference in the world?

Heck, want to have a good feeling at the end of the day or the end of the week?

Don’t get too hung up on how important your role is, or how many things you’ve accumulated in your life.

Water the seed of dependability that is in you. Care for it.

Be dependable in big things and little things, because dependability is a very special kind of seed. It grows slowly, like all seeds, but it is one of the most potent seeds there is — and if we care for it properly, why, we will discover that its fruits are the most beautiful fruits that there are in all existence.

An apology to readers

A couple of months or so ago JoAnn and I woke up one morning and realized that it was time for us to downsize and move back to Denver so that we could be closer to her family. It was a big turning point for us, and preparing for this move has inevitably put pressure on other priorities, such as my blog.

I have managed to still bring out one post a week, but my schedule has been a bit uncertain and erratic, for which I am sorry. I want to be more consistent from now on so that you know where you stand. Eventually, I hope to write a minimum of two posts a week, but for the moment I intend to publish a post each Thursday.

Want to be happy? Be dependable is a post from: thehappyseeker.com

What a brilliant lady she is. Of course. That was exactly what I was looking for — I just hadn’t realized it yet.

We have a ritual in this matter. I stand at the bottom of the stairs and JoAnn stands one step up so as to compensate for our difference in height.

It was a good hug. We took a little time with it. It not only got me in the flow of life’s goodness and generosity, shall I say, but it also got me thinking about the importance of hugs to our lives and overall well-being. As the author and therapist Leo Buscaglia once said, “Everybody needs a hug. It changes your metabolism.”

I remember very well one of my first hugs with JoAnn. We weren’t married yet, heck we weren’t even dating yet. We had been corresponding for a few months though, and had agreed I would fly down from Vancouver to Denver for a visit so that we could get to know each other better.

JoAnn met me at DIA and we walked to the parking lot where she had parked her car. But before getting into the car I succumbed to an urge that was impossible to deny, and took her in my arms. It was a hug that went on and on and on, and I must say — speaking for myself — that it made me feel my visit was off to a very auspicious beginning indeed.

There is much more to hugs than “romance,” of course. A hug can fill a void in a way that nothing else can.

One of the most precious hugs of my life came in the extraordinarily tender and indescribable moment that followed the physical passing of my first wife, Joy.

Joy had suffered a stroke on an airplane as we were returning to Vancouver from a holiday in the Caribbean, and was rushed to hospital in a coma. The doctor said there was nothing they could do, and it was simply a matter of waiting for the end. Joy was moved to a private room — where for two or three hours I kept a lonely vigil as her life slowly ebbed away.

The fateful moment arrived. Joy breathed her last breath. The wonderful Australian nurse turned to me and said, “God’s got her.” Then, opening her arms wide — she gave me a hug of pure compassion and love.

I’d like to end this post with an excerpt from an article entitled ‘Importance of Hugs in a Marriage,’ at www.theprofessorshouse.com.

“When the man of the house — the breadwinner — gets downsized by his company, he comes home, looks at his wife and says, ‘I could use a hug right now.’ Or when the wife commits a serious flop during her piano recital and breaks down crying, the husband instinctively puts his arms around her, holds her close and says, everything’s okay. It’s only a piano recital. Your playing was brilliant.

“In his article, ‘Have you hugged anyone lately?’ Parveen Chopra quotes family therapist Virginia Satir: ‘We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.’”

What’s YOUR most memorable hug? is a post from: thehappyseeker.com

“True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable.” Dave Tyson Gentry.

1. Be interested in people. Genuinely. It is the simplest, easiest way to develop a connection with a fellow “traveler” in this world of joy and grief. What is important to them? what inspires them? What are their interests, their passions? Are they facing a challenge in their life? Where were they born? What are their favorite books or movies? When we are genuinely interested in another person and in what is going on in their life, we open the door to the experience of communion from whence all friendship springs.

2. Choose wisely. Go where you will in this world, there is no one who has not been scarred in some way by the pain and hardship of human nature — just as there is no one in whom the light of truth does not dwell, untouched and untroubled by any of the misfortune and adversity of this world. The point is, however, that you need to be wise when it comes to making friends. Do not let yourself become a hostage to your need for friendship. Do not, for example, let yourself drift along in an unhealthy relationship with a person who is obsessively needy or controlling. There are many, many people in this world in whom true character IS evident — a quality of sweetness, perhaps, a confident, victorious attitude toward life — choose from among this fertile tribe.

3. Be willing to change. Obviously, you cannot promise you will never make a mistake. What you can promise is that if you do make a mistake, then as soon as you see it, you will acknowledge it. Rather than trying to deny it, you will face up to it, and apologize, if this is appropriate. This does not diminish you in some way. On the contrary, it shows your integrity. You are person who honors truth — so rather than seeing a mistake as some kind of blemish, you see it as an opportunity to let something be changed and healed in yourself.

4. Be patient. A true friendship is not built in a day. It takes time to get to know another person — and it takes time for them to get to know you. “You don’t know my heart,” I used to say to my wife JoAnn in the early days of our marriage when trouble arose – and of course I didn’t really know her heart yet then either. We are all “works in progress,” but if you are patient, and true to your core values, you will come to see the timeless beauty of your friend with ever increasing clarity and joy.

5. No grudges. Holding a grudge shuts the door on the experience of true friendship. It puts a bullet through its heart. More than that, however, it makes it very clear that the person who holds the grudge is not possessed of the essential humility and flexibility of character that alone makes a true friendship possible. As the American journalist Sydney J. Harris wrote, “If a small thing has the power to make you angry, does that not indicate something about your size?”

6. A common interest. You don’t need to be the same as somebody else to know a creative friendship with them. Differences, even big differences, can add to the juice of your friendship because they may complement one another. But a common interest — a shared value of some kind — is essential. It provides a point of connection that helps to hold two people together. My wife and I couldn’t be more different in an outer sense but we both cherish truth and inner peace. Here is the glue that has sustained us in our journey together to this point.

7. Listen to your inner voice. You are not alone in this world, no matter what your mind may sometimes say. Grace is with you, the grace of your own true nature, the grace of the divine. Wisdom is with you too, flowing from the same source. Listen to your own inner knowing. Listen to the nudge that comes to you from within that says, “Do this” — or, perhaps, “Don’t do this.” Know that there is a gracious hand on your life and if you play your part everything will work out to perfection.

Seven steps to true friendship is a post from: thehappyseeker.com