What a brilliant lady she is. Of course. That was exactly what I was looking for — I just hadn’t realized it yet.

We have a ritual in this matter. I stand at the bottom of the stairs and JoAnn stands one step up so as to compensate for our difference in height.

It was a good hug. We took a little time with it. It not only got me in the flow of life’s goodness and generosity, shall I say, but it also got me thinking about the importance of hugs to our lives and overall well-being. As the author and therapist Leo Buscaglia once said, “Everybody needs a hug. It changes your metabolism.”

I remember very well one of my first hugs with JoAnn. We weren’t married yet, heck we weren’t even dating yet. We had been corresponding for a few months though, and had agreed I would fly down from Vancouver to Denver for a visit so that we could get to know each other better.

JoAnn met me at DIA and we walked to the parking lot where she had parked her car. But before getting into the car I succumbed to an urge that was impossible to deny, and took her in my arms. It was a hug that went on and on and on, and I must say — speaking for myself — that it made me feel my visit was off to a very auspicious beginning indeed.

There is much more to hugs than “romance,” of course. A hug can fill a void in a way that nothing else can.

One of the most precious hugs of my life came in the extraordinarily tender and indescribable moment that followed the physical passing of my first wife, Joy.

Joy had suffered a stroke on an airplane as we were returning to Vancouver from a holiday in the Caribbean, and was rushed to hospital in a coma. The doctor said there was nothing they could do, and it was simply a matter of waiting for the end. Joy was moved to a private room — where for two or three hours I kept a lonely vigil as her life slowly ebbed away.

The fateful moment arrived. Joy breathed her last breath. The wonderful Australian nurse turned to me and said, “God’s got her.” Then, opening her arms wide — she gave me a hug of pure compassion and love.

I’d like to end this post with an excerpt from an article entitled ‘Importance of Hugs in a Marriage,’ at www.theprofessorshouse.com.

“When the man of the house — the breadwinner — gets downsized by his company, he comes home, looks at his wife and says, ‘I could use a hug right now.’ Or when the wife commits a serious flop during her piano recital and breaks down crying, the husband instinctively puts his arms around her, holds her close and says, everything’s okay. It’s only a piano recital. Your playing was brilliant.

“In his article, ‘Have you hugged anyone lately?’ Parveen Chopra quotes family therapist Virginia Satir: ‘We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.’”

What’s YOUR most memorable hug? is a post from: The Happy Seeker - Happiness inner peace

“Don’t forget, you won’t be getting anything else from me at Christmas,” she reminds me every now and again. “Of course not,” I say indignantly.

It’s fun giving gifts at Christmas. It’s fun receiving gifts, too, especially when you are little. But as another Christmas rolls around, I think to myself that any gift we receive — or give — this season will sooner or later break down, or lose its luster. It may simply wear out, like my new shirt and pants. Or it may simply lose its appeal, its novelty.

There is one gift, however, that will never wear out, or break own – and it is the gift of our own timeless being, untouched and untroubled by any of the vicissitudes of our lives.

As I sit down to concoct a new post this morning, I am filled with awe and thankfulness for this magnificent gift that is the true spiritual heritage of each one of us.

It asks so little. It gives so much. It is eternal love, and it asks simply that we be still for a moment.

I find that as I am still, surrendering my human preoccupations and thoughts, I become increasingly aware of the vast presence within which my physical form is contained and within which all life is contained.

Every atom of my body rejoices in this presence. It is not separate from me. It is myself. It is my own true nature, my own true character, crying out for expression through me.

It is already happy. It is already free.

May this Christmas be truly different. May it be NEW, because as you and I go about our lives, doing the little deeds that need to be done each day, we remember the gift that has been given us – so priceless it cannot really be named.

The one gift that will never lose its luster is a post from: The Happy Seeker - Happiness inner peace

We live in a brave, utterly terrifying, and yet utterly beautiful and glorious time.I’m filled, in this moment, with a deep sense of gratitude for one of life’s most mysterious paradoxes. We can only navigate this life on our own. We are totally responsible, as an individual, for our choices in life — no one else can really tell us what to do. And yet on the other side of that, none of us could do anything if it were not for the abundance of kindness and encouragement and support that comes to us in so many different ways from other people.

I’m thinking, for example, in this moment, of a new friend named Easton Ellsworth, a computer geek (if he will forgive my use of that term) who recently started his own blog consulting business named www.visionaryblogging.com Easton lives in a small Colorado town quite close to Loveland, where I live. The simple truth is that I could not have penetrated the mysteries of blogging — to the extent I have penetrated them, which is not very much — without his wonderful encouragement and inspiration and support. Easton helped in every step of the process, particularly in the design of the blog, and of course continues to help me. He’s roughly the same age as my son Durwin, who lives in North Vancouver, B.C., and they both have three young children.

One of the books that really helped me in a difficult period of my life, after I had suddenly lost my first wife, was You Can Have It All, by Arnold Patent. He was speaking of the vital importance of mutual respect and cooperation if our lives are to be truly effective and fulfilling. The power, friendship and sheer pleasure that can be generated when we do find a creative partnership of some kind with another person or persons never ceases to amaze me. JoAnn and I were watching an NBC special the other day on life inside the Obama White House, and were so impressed with what seemed to us to be this same dynamic at work in those who are part of Obama’s team.

Another thing I want to mention, and gives thanks for, is the sudden appearance – like wildflowers in spring — of a few comments on this site. I’m so touched that people took time out of their busy day not only to visit the blog, but to drop off a few thoughts.

There is a vast pool of friendship, love and goodwill that covers the world and goes very deep. It does not get a lot of publicity compared to all the violence and mayhem that is going on. But it is there, and it is a beautiful thing when in the midst of our busy affairs — perhaps in as simple a way as stopping to chat with a neighbor — we are made more keenly aware of its existence.

We are here to nourish this “pool” of love, aren’t we? We are here to express our own particular unique spirit into this world to the fullest extent of our power, and what an adventure it is.

Anyone got their own story of “mutual respect and cooperation” at work in their life they’d like to share?

Thoughts on starting a blog — and on the giant pool of love in this world is a post from: The Happy Seeker - Happiness inner peace