Can depression be a door to personal growth?

October 28th, 2009 by Christopher Foster

A major storm hit Northern Colorado last night. Forecasters predict two days of heavy snow and near blizzard conditions. In Loveland, 10 to 16 inches of snow are forecast.

I look out my window and see this heavy gray pall hanging over everything, and snow falling continuously. It reminds me of what happens when a person becomes depressed. They may have been happy, successful people from all appearances – and then a storm rips through their life and everything becomes clouded over.

From all accounts, there are quite a lot of depressed people in the US at this time, perhaps elsewhere too.

What is depression? I’ve been thinking about this, perhaps inspired by the sudden change in the weather — no sign at all of the bright blue sky I have become so accustomed to since moving here 12 years ago from BC.

About a year ago, when I was in the grip of a severe depression, a local acupuncturist told me he thought that what was going on was not so much a “depression” — in the way that term is usually interpreted — as a “spiritual crisis.” It was a blessing to me when he said that. It brought to focus something I had been thinking about, but hadn’t fully clarified.

In any event, what brought me through that very painful and debilitating experience, I believe, was this. Worn down, and filled with despair though I was, I never entirely lost trust in the innate wisdom and meaning and purpose of Life — my Life.

It was a wrenching time. A time I hope will never be repeated. And yet I emerged out of it stronger and happier than I had been before. Why? How could that be?

It may seem far-fetched. But I believe that in some mysterious, magical way, God, or Love, wanted to accomplish a little bit of transformation. It wished to heal a piece of myself that was not complete, not whole — traumatized, perhaps, by earlier life experiences.

It is never comfortable when a major storm of some kind rips through our life — despair, depression, tragedy, or whatever. But if there is the potential in that painful experience to grow — to become more whole — more conscious of the truth of our existence — why, is it not a blessing?

As usual, I showed this post to JoAnn before I published it. She liked it. There wasn’t anything she would change. But she did point out that while I’m using our current storm to illustrate a particular theme, no doubt some people will look at the snow and think, “Oh goody. I can make a snowman. I can go tobogganing. There will be some good skiing, etc, etc.”

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